Life-Storytelling Tips
Campfire stories grip listeners in a situation or adventure – life stories can be told that way! / Photo by Mike Erskine via Unsplash
Bring us on a journey with your main character (you, someone in your life, or an ancestor). What do they want, and what’s at stake? Take us through their ups and downs, until…
Would you like to tell life stories in ways that will grab people’s attention, and hold their interest?
Tried-and-True Tips
These tips are based on tried-and-true storytelling techniques. You can use these methods to engage your audience when you tell life stories.
The basic methods have been around since humans first told stories around the campfire. Stories and songs helped people of all ages remember important things (such as how to stay safe while hunting and gathering). To this day, a list of names and places just isn’t that memorable!
Storytelling techniques are used to tell stories aloud, write short stories or novels, develop screenplays for movies, and in the best of advertising. I learned to employ them in fictional short stories and film scripts. Here, I apply the methods to real-life stories.
Telling Life Stories
These tips will help you engage your audience, whether your story is a slice-of-life from childhood, the tale of how you met a challenge, or the story of someone else’s life.
You don’t have to use every approach in each story you tell. You may like to describe a memory, without having a plot or storyline. Maybe you remember the sights and sounds from a day at a farm. There’s no need to force memories into a story structure – there are various formats for life storytelling.
No matter which format you choose, you’re more likely to keep people’s interest if you use storytelling techniques. Even if it’s a visual format – such as a slideshow or a map – story structure gives it a throughline for people to follow.
“Tell it like a movie.”
Introduce your Main Character
Even though a true-life story is about a real person, from a storytelling standpoint they’re still called a character. You are the main character in stories of your life experiences. Someone you write about, such as your elderly relative or an ancestor, is the main character in their story.
Everyone can relate to a story of trying to belong, working hard to achieve something, or other aspects of human life. When you watch a movie, you may identify with the main character and get invested in how things go. First, you need to care about that person and their plight.
It’s up to you as storyteller to introduce us to your main character and make us want to know what happens. Here are tips for doing that.
Who are They?
Who is your main character? Is it you now? You as a child? You during your career? Is it your parent for their whole life, or just at one point? Is it an ancestor whose story surprised you in your family history research?
Show us who your main character is or was, in the context of their life. This is easier if it’s you or someone you knew, yet still possible if you’ve learned about an ancestor.
Show us a few characteristics about the person (or animal – in my case, as I also write about my pets!). If it’s about:
you as a child – were you outgoing? shy? the small one or the tall one?
a relative or other person in your life – were they a leader? companion? practical or a dreamer?
an ancestor – do records show they were educated? engaged in a political role? a labourer?
What do They Want?
Think of a movie. The main character wants something, such as to: find their way home, marry their dream partner, or get rich quick.
No matter where someone is in life – and in a story – they move with their 'eye on the prize'. / Photo by AV Photography via Pexels
It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just important to the main character. For you at six years old, that new bicycle was a big deal. As a teenager, it was to be invited to the party. Or, maybe it was a truly big event, such as if you and your family had to escape a natural disaster.
This is easier if it’s your story. Yet, to write about someone in your life – partner, elder, friend – you can identify their goal in a situation. Was it to regain their health? Get a top job? Start a family?
As for ancestors, the historical context and their actions may point to what they were seeking. Were they poor and went to a new country in the hope of better chances? Were they farmers trying to support their family during a drought? Don’t force this on them, but see if there’s something obvious in the records – or if they left letters or a journal.
What’s at Stake?
Whether you or someone else is the main character in the story you’re telling, what’s at stake for that person? By this, I mean what are the rewards if they reach their goal? What are the risks if they fail?
What motivates your main character? What do they desire the most? What do they fear?
These are the main things that help your audience get to know the main character in your story, understand their situation and what it means to them, and follow along to see how it turns out.
Story Structure
It may sound obvious, but a story has a beginning, a middle and an end. A friend’s elementary school teacher said it this way: “Somebody wants this…but that happens…so then they...” It’s up to (you) the storyteller to fill in the blanks.
What this means is to show your main character face situations as they try to reach their goal. They start out in one setting (at the beginning), go through some stuff (in the middle), and reach their goal – or not (in the end).
Think of a Title
Think of a title for your story! Whether you use it or not, it helps you identify what it’s about.
A title and a by-line may entice others to read your story. Don’t give everything away in the title. Choose ‘Searching for Rufus’ over ‘The Time We Found Our Dog’.
If it’s a biographical piece about someone, you might choose a basic title and by-line that sums it up, such as ‘Frank Smith, Self-Made Man’. Or how about ‘Gertrude Brown, Flying Ace’ – that’d get attention, if there’s a female pilot in your family line!
If you think of it as a movie poster, you might come up with a by-line that piques the curiosity of your reader.
Start with a Splash
Your story doesn’t have to start with the bang of a gun like in a murder mystery, yet something to entice your listener to lean in and hear your tale. You could dive right in to an event, like “I grip the steering wheel” or, “all I wanted was that red bike in the store window”. A quote from an ancestor might draw people in, to find out more about that individual.
The first line in a story is a key lead-in to catch people’s interest.
Who is this guy? Where is he going? What will he encounter? / Photo by Veerasak Piyawatanakul via Pexels
Another approach is to begin in the middle of your tale. In writing someone’s bio, instead of leading with their birthdate and location, you could start with a key event in their life, or the reason they were given their name. A story from your childhood could begin at the moment you raise your hand in class, versus taking us – your readers – through your day up until that point.
Main Thread or Throughline
It’s best to focus on the main thread or throughline that carries through the whole story – whether you are writing about one episode in your life, an entire memoir, or someone’s life story. In a movie, this is the main plot.
This helps you tell a good story, and helps your reader – or listener or viewer – to follow along and keep interested.
Sure, there are other characters and things going on. But it’s best not to get into too many details and detours. In the example of a movie, there may be a crime plot with a love-interest sub-plot. It doesn’t include every step the main character takes at that time in their life.
If your grandparent was one of twelve siblings, show that it’s a large family but focus on one sibling who caused them the most trouble, and another who was their main buddy. If this isn’t the case, don’t force it. The main story may be that their parent died, and your grandparent had to go to work at an early age to support the family.
If you wish to write about meeting your high-school sweetheart, keep that focus within the context of high school and other friends.
For a memoir, focus on a theme or pattern in your life and explore that through what you write.
Of course, a family history includes many people. You can’t write about all your ancestors and distant relatives. To keep to a main thread or throughline, it’s best to choose which generations, which timeframe or geographic location, or which ancestors to profile.
Theme and Tone
You may wish to jump in and write or tell your story – or you already did – and that’s okay! If you have yet to start, here are some things to think about to lay the foundation for your story.
Consider the overall theme of the tale. You needn’t force one onto a story, nor make some moral point. But to hold together well, a story has a theme: is it a story of resilience? reconciliation? revenge? Maybe the theme is about the importance of family, or about courage in the face of challenges.
Your story won’t have the same emotional tone throughout. It’s good, for example, in a sad story or a eulogy to have some funny parts for relief. But a cohesive story will have an overall tone or mood, such as a scary story or a funny one.
Theme and tone can keep you on track if you begin to wander in your storytelling. Also, it will help your listeners focus, and grasp what’s going on.
Take Us with You
People engage with a story when they can imagine being there. Here are top tips to bring your audience – readers, listeners, or viewers – into the world of your story. These are among key writing techniques to help bring your story to life.
Can you imagine being in the stern of this canoe? Describe that for your reader. / Photo by Daniel James via Unsplash
Point of View
Imagine watching a movie. It’s like you step into the world of that character: what a race car driver sees through the windshield, or perhaps a child’s view as they look up at a countertop.
How old were you at the time of a story in your life? In what way did you view your world when the story begins? For example, did it delight or scare you to be in a crowded fairground?
You can set this up via how you write, the way you tell a story aloud, or choose to show it in images.
Evoke the Senses
A great way to bring a reader into the world of your story is to evoke the senses: sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. Not all the senses at once – choose one or two that stand out in your memory. Was it the sight of a farmer’s field and the smell of corn? The sound of your grandmother’s voice and the taste of pie?
If you describe a couple of examples, your reader can imagine being there. You can do this from memory in stories of your life, or ask your interviewee if you’re writing about someone living.
For an ancestor’s story, research the time and place and event to describe some physical features that were surely there – such as the river they lived beside, dry soil in a drought, or gunfire in battle. This can get tricky, if using your imagination leads toward fiction. See my post on fact versus fiction in life storytelling.
Join on the Journey
Invite your audience to join on your journey. How do you do this? Show them where you are at the beginning, what you hope for, and how much it means to you. Lead them through obstacles that get in your way. Bring them along with you in your story.
You can apply these tips to writing, telling stories aloud, and showing a story through images. Read below for more, plus see how to tell a true-life story in an engaging way.
Foes to Face
Stories that grab people’s interest have some conflict. It does not need to be a battle in war. It could be the struggle between two people in a relationship. Or it might be your effort to survive a flood. Perhaps the conflict is internal, such as when you had to make a difficult choice.
In stories, as in life, a person has friends and enemies (or perhaps just competitors).
Conflict arises in many forms, even rivalry between friends or family members. / Photo by Vlada Karpovich via Pexels
In most stories that engage an audience (such as a movie), there’s a main character and one main foe. Perhaps it’s:
you as a child, versus a school bully
a parent who faced poverty while raising their children
an ancestor who has to escape from oppressors
Show us the main source of antagonism in your story. Is it a drought that threatens the family farm? A competitor who cheats? Health challenges you need to overcome? Show how you, your relative, or ancestor dealt with such challenges.
When I was in screenwriting school, we learned about the “Hero’s Journey” based on the book by Joseph Campbell. It takes the main character through steps as they face challenges from the outset until the end of the story, and they are changed in some way. Reedsy has a summary of this classic story structure in their blog.
Trials and Triumphs
In other words, ups and downs – or twists and turns.
What did you or another main character face? What were big turning points in life? How did you or someone you’re writing about face troubles and overcome barriers?
There you were, living your regular life. What happened that caused a change? What action did you – or other main character – take as a result? For example, was someone living a solitary life, then met the partner of their dreams and dared to ask them out? Was an ancestor working on a farm, then war broke out and they were called into battle?
What happens after that key turning point into a new phase of life?
Life doesn't come with a script. Keep your reader turning the page with you as your story unfolds. / Photo by Reuben Juarez via Unsplash
For ideas, see my post on the kinds of questions that prompt life stories.
Change
How does the main character change as a result of going through challenges? Do they become more confident or more careful?
How did escaping a flood change how someone handled things in life?
Did your whole life change after you met someone, or moved to another country?
How does it End?
How does the story end? Did you get what you wanted in a situation? Did you learn a life lesson instead? Is this one chapter in an ongoing saga?
Did your ancestor struggle with poverty, and never overcome those hardships? Or did they manage to prosper?
Did you ever get that bicycle in the store window?
written by Barbara L Campbell, 2024