How to Tell a True-Life Story
Big adventure or small story – bring us on a journey with you. / Photo by Matt Gross via Unsplash
Choose which experiences to share, then shape facts and memory into an engaging storyline. You don’t need to stray from the true tale to hold your reader’s attention.
Would you like to tell a true story from your life, or about someone else – including an ancestor – but aren’t sure how to:
keep it true, yet not bog down your story with facts
make it entertaining without adding in fiction
deal with uncertain memories, information, or family lore
share a different side of events, or more to someone’s story
“Those are the facts, now what is the story?”
Here are some key steps to take, to lay the foundation for a true tale.
Choose the ‘Right’ Kind of Story
Some things that happen in life – pleasant or not – make better stories than other events. When you decide which story to tell, choose one with elements of an engaging story such as:
someone really wants to reach their goal, and they change as a result of trying
there is some mystery…conflict…love…or a difficult choice to make
actions, events and obstacles cause ups and downs
somebody beats the odds – through luck, hard work, courage – or all three
It can be a simple story, such as a child trying to find their lost dog. Maybe your ancestor came to a new country on their own to start a new life.
Choose a Format that Fits
You don’t need to force something to be an epic story when it’s simply a memorable moment or an anecdote about someone.
You might like to make notes of memories for your family, create a map about family history, or describe someone in a tribute. These are all versions of what’s included in life stories. It’s alright if they don’t fit into a storytelling framework like a movie. Look at the material you have, and choose what format suits best.
The tips here apply to narrative stories that you write, tell aloud, or show in pictures such as a slideshow.
Work with what you have, to shape your story. / Photo by Julia M Cameron via Pexels
Build the Story from Facts
Take stock of what facts, memories, and different versions of a story you have.
When telling stories from your life, notice if you know something happened or presume it took place.
If you’d like to write someone’s life story (even in brief), it’s a good idea to make a timeline. Then you can see their lifespan, major milestones, and where you have gaps in information.
If possible, interview someone who knew the person. Research an ancestor to fill in some missing pieces, so you can tell your ancestor’s story from facts. Find out what key historical or local events took place (e.g. war, disease, new technology) that set the stage for their life experience.
Select the ‘Mountaintops’
Keep to the main thread of your story. One of my screenwriting instructors said “select the mountaintops”, such as:
what’s meaningful for the main character (e.g. you, or a relative)
turning points – key decisions, ups and downs, encounters and obstacles
a few details and people close to the event (not too many)
Try not to detour into the side-stories of other characters. Stick to the main path, and tell your tale in a way your reader can follow – and will stay with you to the end of the story.
If you have more facts, details and names to mention, you could include them in endnotes.
What is the main tale you wish to tell in a given life story? / Photo by Michele De Pascalis via Unsplash
Craft an Engaging Storyline
Take your reader on a journey:
introduce your main character – who they are, what they want, and what it means to them
what’s at stake if they do or don’t succeed
what actions do they take, what gets in their way, and what happens next
how do they change as a result of their challenges, and success or failure
Decide which aspects to include – and what order of events is best – to tell a true story that will keep your reader’s attention.
These are highlights of how to tell an engaging story.
Show Character through Behaviour
Let your reader or listener see someone’s character and personality by what they do in a situation. Do they run away? Step in to help? Laugh it off?
If you describe someone as being mean, nice, smart (etc.), that’s a general trait but doesn’t show their unique personality. If you share a brief scenario, your reader can imagine the scene and take interest in the person.
As the old saying goes, "actions speak louder than words." This holds true in storytelling. / Photo by Mikhail Nilov via Pexels
If you didn’t know the person yourself, see what you can find through research. Do legal records from court show how determined they were? Is there a newspaper clipping – even an ad or social page – that says something about the person?
This technique also works for a story from one of your experiences. Show how you were at the age in your story. Were you a curious child who wandered into an amusement park? A brave one who faced a bully? An adult who made careful plans that got derailed?
Use this along with other writing methods to bring your story to life.
Focus on What You Know
If you’re missing some material (e.g. memories, facts, details), focus on the parts you do know and remember. Give one or two examples to set the mood or scene of the event. That’s best for storytelling anyway. For example, in telling a story from childhood:
If you don’t recall much about a house, but the huge doorway stuck in your mind, include that.
No need to describe your whole day at school – begin with the moment you raised your hand in class.
There’s much you may never know about someone in your life, but you can shine a light on parts of their life experience.
You may not know much about an ancestor whose story you’d like to tell. Take the part you know, and build on it if you can. Include the historical context (such as a time of political protest) or family matters (such as the birth of twins, or loss of a child).
Gather More through Research
You might have a personal childhood memory and it seems there’s nothing more to find out. But you may be able to learn details to help tell your story.
Ask others what they remember about an event, place or person. Older siblings, former neighbours and classmates may remember some aspects.
Uncover the context for a story through historical research (even from not that long ago). There may be a fact or detail to include, perhaps about the location of an event, or working conditions in a factory.
Your findings may add material for your story, prove what did or didn’t happen, or help you rule out some options.
Add to what you know – or think you know – by looking into context for the story. / Photo by Glenn Carstens via Unsplash
Test Family Lore
Have you heard some family history passed down from earlier generations, and wonder if it’s true? Often, these stories hold clues to the truth – even if they’ve been mixed-up over time.
It’s more accessible these days to trace your ancestry, view public records online, and find archived information. You can test family lore against other sources. You may be able to prove, rule out, or ‘edit’ family lore to learn and share what actually happened.
Include More of the Whole Story
To tell a well-rounded story about someone’s life, include aspects that are sometimes left out.
Even if you wish to show someone in the best light, it’s good to include one of their flaws or failings (big or small). It’s part of what made them who they are. When you write about someone’s qualities and character, they seem more human when they’re not so perfect.
People may take more interest in your own stories if you show your struggles and not just the rosy view.
You can present troubles in a positive way within the bigger picture, such as a lesson learned or a unique trait. Even as you celebrate an ancestor for their achievements, you can round out the picture with facts you uncover that show another side. You can acknowledge that their other side is borne of their culture and life situation (e.g. someone who went to fight in a war).
Pose Questions about Unknowns
When I wonder how something was – but there’s likely no way of knowing – sometimes I ask a question within a story. I might say “I don’t know why I took another route home from school that day… was I lost? did I walk with a classmate?”.
When I tell someone’s life story, I may say “it’s not clear how they ended up in their line of work but once in, they really made a success of it”.
When I write about an ancestor, I might ask “did they move for religious reasons? economic? In any case, something caused them to pick up and leave.” In a letter to an ancestor, I may write as if I’m asking them – “did you become a loyalist because your father was, or for your own political reasons?”.
Add ‘Colour’ from Other Sources
If you lack details to round out a story from someone’s life, you may find material from other sources about a similar experience, such as:
how someone else remembers the same event
a write-up in a newspaper, journal, letter, war diary or other historical account
an image from the same town, military battalion, or school from the same timeframe
Don’t adopt it as your story but use it to describe an event, occupation or situation.
Newspapers or correspondence from the same time and place may shed light on a life experience. / Photo by Nietjuh via Pexels
Wonder If to Make Stuff Up?
You might ask why not invent story elements to fill in gaps and make it more entertaining. This is an option, but would be fiction or creative non-fiction. I feel life stories should be non-fiction, i.e. they really happened. See my discussion on “should I make stuff up” and decide for yourself.
If you’re keen to write real-life stories that are as true as possible, this article and other blogposts on this site are here to help!
I like to tell a variety of true stories from my life. Some have ‘heart and meaning’ for me, others are about zany events that happened. To see a selection of my stories – and some of my writing about family and ancestors – check out the stories blog on this site.
written by Barbara L Campbell, 2024