Questions to Prompt Life Stories
Which life questions get at the why of what you do? Ask those. / Photo by Kelly via Pexels
Ask these types of questions to invite stories of challenge, change and chance. Go beyond basic aspects of life to tell stories of the journey.
There are all sorts of questions you could ask someone about events in their life, what’s important to them, and their point of view.
Here, I focus on story: what types of questions are most likely to prompt life stories? What questions will help you decide which life stories to tell?
Ask someone these questions to learn about their life in more depth, and to showcase them and tell their stories.
Pose these questions to yourself, as you decide which of your own stories to tell.
See if any of these questions apply, as you choose which ancestors to profile and to craft engaging stories.
“(I aimed) to connect to the human side (of him), beyond the highlights reel.”
Note: this quote is from someone who asked their father about his life – including his struggles – before he declined with Alzheimer’s. To hear the full story, listen from minute 15 to 25 of this CBC Now or Never podcast on stories of untangling family legacy.
Types of Questions
On their own or in combination, some types of questions encourage storytelling.
Open-ended questions invite story, such as: what was it like for you to go to school in a small town? (versus closed-ended: where did you go to school?).
Once someone provides a basic answer, follow-up questions can bring forth a story. Such as: how did that come about? what did you do next? how did it turn out?
A specific question is more likely to prompt a story, such as: did something unusual happen on your way home from school? (versus a general question such as: tell me about your childhood). If you know the person or have researched their life, you’ll be able to ask your interviewee more precise questions.
Questions about turning points in someone’s life are most likely to yield an engaging story. You might ask about a big change, a chance encounter, or a key decision. Also, about challenges and how they faced their troubles.
Consider these types of questions when you interview someone for life stories. Choose from the categories and examples, or use them as a springboard for your own ideas. It’s still good to ask basic questions about someone’s life and family history. Add some of these ones to elicit stories of interest to a broader audience.
Turning Points
Changes and Decisions
(e.g. location move, relationship change, work choice, quick decision)
When did an event or a decision you made set you on a new life path?
Is there something you would change if you could?
What turning point changed the life of your relative, ancestor, or your family history?
The direction we choose makes all the difference. / Photo by Kelly via Pexels
Big changes help you tell the story of an ancestor’s life and your family history.
New Beginnings
(e.g. move to a new country, first day at school, driving a car, first child born)
What was a big ‘first’ in your life? what was it like for you at the beginning? and later?
Significant Encounters
(e.g. meet future spouse, your mentor, a sports or music partner)
Who did you meet that changed your life in a big way?
Did you meet by chance, or was it planned? how did it happen?
Did you find and meet a long-lost relative? how?
‘Aha’ Moments
(e.g. notice something about you, the world around you, or in your field of study)
Did you have a moment of sudden realization? how did that feel? how did it change you?
Outlook and Views
What is your outlook on the world (optimism, pessimism, realism) and why?
When did something or someone change your view of things in a big way?
Challenges
Challenges and Adversity
(e.g. in work, school, community, relationship, health, finances)
What has been your biggest challenge? how did you overcome difficulties?
Did you face one of your fears? how and when? what happened?
What obstacles did your relative or ancestor face, and what did they do?
If you share some of these kind of stories from your life, people will relate to the human struggle.
Taking Chances
(e.g. speaking out, risks in sport or other activity, seeking biological parents)
When did you take a risk – out of your comfort zone – and how did that go?
Did you try a new job, location, or put your trust in someone – what happened?
When did you dare to be truly yourself and express your uniqueness?
When you take a chance, it sets up a whole new journey. / Photo by Suzy Hazelwood via Pexels
Adventures
(e.g. in childhood, travels, in nature, in a city)
What is your most memorable adventure? was it unexpected?
Did you go through a rollercoaster of ups and downs? in what way?
Life's adventures – big and small – are sure to contain tales. / Photo by Mark Stosberg via Unsplash
Unexpected Outcomes
Biggest Surprise
(e.g. an occurrence, a person’s behaviour, your own capability)
What has surprised you the most?
Secrets
Did you keep a secret for a long time? (when) did it come out?
Have you uncovered a big secret – or was it revealed to you – and how did that go?
Unique Experience
(e.g. undersea voyage, working for a famous person, raising miniature goats)
Have you done something most of us don’t do? tell us about it.
Silver Linings
(benefit after hardship – e.g. in job, relationship, finances, illness and health)
Did you suffer a setback or failure, only to find something different or better in store?
Did you have ‘one door close and another open’ in life?
Helping Hands
Were you part of a community or team that cooperated to achieve something?
Did somebody unexpectedly help you in a time of need?
Have you reached out to help strangers, neighbours, friends or family?
Heartfelt stories arise when people connect amid tough times. / Photo by Jem Sahagun via Unsplash
Inspiration
Inspiration and Motivation
What inspired you to enter your line of work?
What motivates you to keep going through tough times?
What inspires you most about others?
It’s interesting to hear what drives a person in their life, and to share this with others when you shine a spotlight on someone.
Heroes and Mentors
Do you have a hero or mentor – if so, who – and why that person?
Happy Times
Most Heartwarming
(e.g. family, relationship, pets, group efforts, kindness of strangers)
What was one of your most heartwarming moments or experiences?
What are you most grateful for and why?
When have you felt most valued and appreciated?
Happy memories and feelings come with a story too. / Photo by Ekatarina Shakharova via Unsplash
Magical Memories
(e.g. in nature, synchronicity, special times together)
Do you have a special memory of a time that seemed magical, or more than a coincidence?
Have you had moments of awe, in nature, or viewing art or …?
When did a greater power seem to influence your life, or someone close to you?
What do you recall most about a certain sensory memory (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch)?
Dreams Come True
Have you had a wish come true – by luck, help, hard work, or all three?
Funny Times
When have you laughed the hardest or had the most fun, and why?
Proud Moments
(e.g. education, children, career, sports, family)
When was one of your most proud moments? what happened? what led up to it?
Someone's answer to this question might surprise you. / Photo by Jeremiah Lawrence via Unsplash
Interests and Favourites
What interests you the most (e.g. about your work, pastimes, studies, place you live)?
What is your favourite… (hobby, food, music, book, movie, place, animal, sport)?
Questions for Others
To Ask Others about Someone
(e.g. to gather input for a tribute, biography, or memorial)
How did you first meet?
What special quality about this person stands out for you?
What impresses or inspires you most about this person?
What impact have they had in your life?
How would you describe their personality in three words (e.g. kind, energetic, driven)
Can you tell a story or anecdote that shows their character?
What’s a funny moment that you recall?
When was your happiest time spent together?
written by Barbara L Campbell, 2024