Sharing Someone’s Life Stories
It's an honour and delight to showcase the life stories of someone special to you.
Here, I share some of my experiences in giving life-story books to family and friends to celebrate memories – and in publishing memorial tributes when the time comes.
I like various ways to share stories from someone’s life – aloud, in pictures, poems, letters, profiles, essays, and brief books. And I feel honoured to prepare an obituary or eulogy when the time comes.
Here are some of my experiences.
Life Story Books
It warms my heart to give someone a book of memories from their life. It’s such a wonderful custom-made gift of appreciation.
I also find it heartwarming to create and share a book about someone no longer living. Family and friends are grateful to see this spotlight on someone they cared for so much. Others, such as younger relatives, can get to know a person they never had the chance to meet.
My favourite approach is to self-publish a life story book that’s about the size and length of a magazine.
Birthday Book
When my mother turned 80, she asked for a small gathering. She enjoyed a big celebration with many friends for her 75th, before moving away to be closer to family. This time, she didn’t feel like having a large party.
I thought she’d like some special attention, without everyone needing to travel there in person. So I contacted her friends and far-away relatives. I asked them each to send their ‘happy memories with Harriet’ – which they did!
I received letters, cards, emails – plus some drawings from her grandkids. It was so wonderful to see the messages! I printed the emails in different fonts on coloured paper, then placed all the pieces in clear plastic sleeves in a binder.
Technology changes over the years, but heartfelt memories come through no matter the format.
I remember how pleased Mom looked, with her children and grandkids around, as we read aloud from her birthday binder.
Our mother wasn’t a sentimental person, or she didn’t show it. Yet I noticed that even after she moved into a new senior’s residence, she kept the binder by her bedside.
Take-Away: Even a ‘low-tech’ way of sharing stories can be a meaningful and treasured keepsake, one of the benefits of preserving memories of someone.
Friendship Book
My friend’s wife had terminal cancer at a fairly young age. I lived in another city while they coped with her disease. When I moved nearby, I wished to help yet not intrude on their lives. How could I contribute?
I remembered the binder I made for my mother’s birthday years earlier.
I contacted my friend. Turns out his wife’s birthday was coming up soon. He gave me the email addresses of her close friends and relatives.
People wrote in from near and far, and sent photos. They sent their best wishes, their favourite memories together, their love and admiration. I felt touched to see their caring messages, and fortunate to read about fun times shared.
I worked hard to prepare a book for self-publication. I was focused on getting it done well – and to get the printed copies mailed back in time. I used publishing software to make a one or two-page spread from each contributor. I made sure to include plenty of photos of her dog, including a close-up to look into his eyes.
Unfortunately, she took a turn for the worse and went back into hospital. Her husband stayed with her. As soon as I received the book, I took it to their neighbour who brought it to their hospital room.
She loved it. Her husband read her some messages aloud. She kept the book at her side. Friends and family got to say what they wished even though they couldn’t visit. She heard their loving messages, stories and poems – and enjoyed the photos. Plus laughed at the dog pictures that popped up between some of the more serious pages.
She died two days before her forty-something birthday. It was so sad, yet I felt good to have contributed to this loving farewell.
Take-Away: Don’t wait to share life stories, with or about someone. Of the many reasons to share life stories, do it while you have the chance.
Tribute Book
The first book that I made of this type was about my dear father, who passed away when I was in my early twenties.
I wished to savour my memories of our times together, and include photos as reminders – versus keeping them tucked away.
I have this tribute book propped up beside one about my mother, to see when I look up from my desk.
Also, it felt great to honour my Dad with highlights of his career, personality and friendships. It was heartwarming to share the book with my siblings and cousins, who have their copy as a keepsake.
Take-Away: It’s a wonderful feeling to showcase someone you love with a tribute to be shared.
Biography Booklet
While I was still making the tribute book about my father, I helped my mother move into a dementia care home.
At her first lunch, we sat with a married couple. The woman said her husband had been an ambassador to several countries during his career. Now he just stared at his soup. “What stories are locked up in there!”, I thought.
Soon after, I asked my mother if I could make a book about her, while I could ask her questions. She said “sure, but I might not remember the answers!”. I assured her that was okay.
I lived far away, but we both really enjoyed our phone-interview conversations.
The book includes some of her family history, bits about her childhood, education, career, our family, favourite travels and more. One spread shows two of her keen interests – Canadian politics, and her home city of Montreal!
Two pages from a life story book about my mother, showing her personality, interests and activities.
I planned to give her the book for her 90th birthday, but she died suddenly two months before. I finished it anyway and shared it with relatives. That led us to reconnect with estranged cousins who then attended my mother’s memorial – making it a family reunion.
Interview Book
When my uncle saw my mother’s book, he asked to have one of his own.
To me as a child, he was just the cheerful uncle who joined our family at Christmas and other special times. I had the chance to get to know him as an adult, when I moved back to Montreal for a few years. We would chat over a beer late on Friday afternoons in summer, out on his patio.
When I interviewed him for his book, there was so much more for me to hear about his life! Many things don’t come up in everyday conversation. I had no idea he’d spent part of his career in Guyana, where he and his wife lived near a mine in the jungle.
My uncle was quite the storyteller! If I asked the right kind of question, he had no trouble telling tales from his life. This helped me to make his book in the question and answer style of a journalistic interview.
Glimpse of an interview book about my uncle, with stories from his life at school,
The best outcome was that my uncle reconnected with people from his life – friends, alumni and colleagues – by sending them the book. When he moved into a senior’s residence, it introduced him to staff as someone who led a whole life – not just an elderly man. It became a conversation-starter with volunteers, residents, and new friends.
Take-Away: A life story book can show more of the whole person – and rekindle, deepen, and start friendships.
Life story books are one of the various ways to showcase someone.
Memorial Tributes
I feel touched and honoured to create a piece about a loved one after they pass away.
Newspaper Essay
After our mother died, I wrote a brief obituary for the newspaper per our family tradition. But I felt there was more to say, to pay tribute to this remarkable woman.
I learned that our nationwide newspaper has a Lives Lived column in which they feature selected essays about Canadians recently passed. Their submission guidelines helped me tell my mother’s story in a way readers could get to know her. I was so pleased that they chose to publish my piece.
At my mother’s remembrance gathering, her longtime friends said “thanks for bringing her back for us”.
I was pleased to pick up a copy of the newspaper essay on the date of publication (at a magazine stand in the atrium of the Vancouver Public Library).
Online Memorial Page
When my uncle died, I placed an obituary in the Saturday edition of two key newspapers (The Gazette in Montreal where he lived most his life, and The Globe and Mail in Toronto where he rounded out his career). I wished to reach people of his generation, and knew that’s where they would look. It was pricey to print in big city newspapers, so I had to keep it brief.
The night before publication, I realized I could post an online memorial page to go with the print version. That freed me up to do a write-up on my uncle’s life in a few paragraphs, upload some photos and add captions, and set up a guestbook.
The guestbook was the best part for me. We heard from some of his childhood friends, university classmates, work colleagues and elder-care workers. I didn’t know these people nor had a way to get in touch. It was so heartwarming to see their messages, and to connect with some of them. Also, it was comforting during the first months of the pandemic, when airline travel and an in-person funeral were not possible.
At the end of the first year of the posting, I extended the guestbook ‘in perpetuity’. We heard from additional people who knew my uncle after that first year. A few close friends and family post memories and messages on significant anniversaries.
My original write-up is more of a standard long-form obituary. I’ve added some messages to the guestbook on anniversary dates, and intend to post brief stories over time to round out the flavour of Bruce’s personality and some of his life experiences.
Take-Away: An online memorial page is a great way to honour, remember and share about your loved one.
Tribute Told Aloud
When a dear elderly friend of mine died, plenty of people came to her celebration of life. She had so many friends, from so many walks of life – especially her artist’s community.
Friend after friend lined up to take their turn to speak about her role in their life. Many touched on her essential qualities of generosity and encouragement.
I decided to tell a story. I found myself in front of the audience of about sixty, gesturing as I got into the storytelling. It had its touching parts, yet also drew laughter at times. I told how my friend, who was a potter, helped me make an urn for my mother’s ashes. She hadn’t realized I would bury this piece of artwork in the ground, so it came as quite a shock to her. But her solution was to help me make three similar flower vases, for myself and my sisters.
Artists who knew her were glad for reminders of times spent together. Guests who’d not met our friend thanked me for showing them a glimpse of what she was like.
Take-Away: When you tell people about someone’s life, they relate to stories the most.
Life Story Map
After I made a tribute book about my father, it struck me how much of his life was within a short radius around downtown Montreal. Vacations were further afield, but his core activities were all nearby. School, work, play, marriage, family life, sports, restaurants – it was all there for him, and he loved it.
I made an interactive map of these key places in his life and shared it with close relatives. When you click on a spot, a photo of him appears from that time in his life. You can compare the buildings as they were then, with how they look now. A brief description tells of the significance of that place for my father.
Places in my father's life map. He led such a full life of varied experiences based around downtown Montreal!
When viewers go through the spots chronologically, they get a view of my father’s life from ‘cradle to grave’ – and all the places in between. It’s a great way for relatives in the next generation to learn about the grandfather they never got to meet.
Pet Memory Book
When my darling cat Simon died, I wrote down all the stories I could think of. I wanted to capture my memories before I forgot the details. Later, I used those stories as the text for a book about my cat.
I'm glad I collected my memories and photos into this book – I would have forgotten many stories, especially the funny details!
Making the book helped me grieve, and also smile – as it still does today. Books I’ve made about my dear pets stand atop a bookshelf at home as a reminder of my sweet companions.
written by Barbara L Campbell, 2024