Why ‘Life Stories’ not Story
Stories weave the fabric of someone's life. / Photo by Social Cut via Unsplash
There’s more than one story to tell. Everyone has unique experiences and memories to share. A life story captures a lifetime, yet there are many stories along the way.
Why call this ‘life stories’, not just one story?
More than One Story
Each of us has more than one story to tell! You have many phases of your life: from childhood to adulthood, in your roles at work and home, and through a range of experiences. Just like you, your parents, ancestors – and others – have many parts to their lives. Each person experiences unique events, makes their own choices, and faces challenges on their life’s journey.
If you imagine you’re about to tell a story to friends – about any one thing that happened to you – you can see there are many stories to choose from! Maybe you have memories from:
your first day at a new school
a vacation that became more of an adventure than you planned
when your grandmother came to visit
meeting someone and falling in love
a time you faced a big challenge in life
Each person has experiences they remember. / Photo by Cottonbro Studio via Pexels
If you ask anyone – including an older relative – certain kinds of questions, their stories will come. Different stories show various aspects of a person’s life. The same goes for you, people in your life, or an individual ancestor. Perhaps there is a story about adoption? Immigration? Someone’s role in their community? A local hero who helped save the day?
Sometimes it’s good to share separate pieces along the way, versus trying to include everything at once.
Or, it may be time to tell the story of someone’s entire lifespan. That life story will contain various stories.
“The universe is made of stories, not atoms.”
You can choose from various ways and formats to tell life stories.
Not Just a ‘Life List’
Keen bird-watchers keep a ‘life list’ of kinds of birds they see and identify. They name the species, and the place and date of their sighting. For more detail on the look, behaviour and song of any one bird, you need to read more about its type and view photos and videos.
Each person’s life is more than just a list of facts, milestones and achievements. A C.V. or résumé highlights someone’s education and career, and can be used as a profile. But it doesn’t tell the stories behind the list. Why did they choose their line of work or study? What was their main priority in life?
Your C.V. sums up key achievements. But it doesn’t describe all of you. What about your stories from work, school, or with family and friends? Or of hopes dashed or dreams come true? How did a choice you made or an event that happened change the course of your life?
What interests and experiences colour your life? / Photo by Pavel Danilyuk via Pexels
The stories of someone’s life colour between the lines. This applies to you, your friends and relatives, and other key people in your life.
To tell stories of your ancestors’ lives, you will need some details. The more you research your family history, you may uncover events in an ancestor’s life. Even a timeline of key dates and places gives an overview of their life story.
Stories or Memories
I’d like to encourage and empower you to tell life stories. I use the term “stories” quite loosely on this site. These may be memories, descriptions, facts about an ancestor lined-up as a narrative, as well as stories that take your listener on a journey.
It may sound obvious, but the journey type of story (like a movie) has a beginning, middle and end. Someone (the main character) wants something, then things get in the way. What do they do? What happens next? Basic methods to tell an engaging story will help keep your readers’ interest.
There are so many types of story. I’ve used various formats over the years in telling stories from my life. The main thing is to share your memories, your way. You might like to describe memories in a notebook, voice-record tales from your life, or make slideshows to tell family stories.
Different Perspectives
Like you, each person has their own point of view, their unique perspective on a situation, or about somebody. Share your voice!
Also, your perspective changes over time. Will you tell a story from your view as a child? As an adult looking back?
You may react to what your ancestors did in life, from your perspective now. Yet as you learn more about their time and place in history, your view may broaden. Or someone else may write about a common ancestor in glowing terms, and you wish to share more of the whole story.
Which Audience
You may like to describe a life experience in different ways, based on your audience.
A children’s version of the story might be short and simple, with fewer words and more pictures – perhaps to be told aloud. You could choose how to share the same story in more depth for adult readers.
Tell stories in ways that suit the occasion. / Photo by Askar Abayev via Pexels
For any age group, you can tell a story in writing, aloud, in images or as a combination. Your audience might be family members, friends, or the general public. Where you’ll reach your intended audience may dictate the form of the story – e.g. a social media post, slideshow or book?
When you share family history, a rough set of notes or family tree may suit your close relatives. Voice recordings or written memories from an elder may appeal to those with an interest in social history. You can prepare a family history in any format you like, or include prescribed elements to form a genealogy report.
Elders’ Memories and Stories
If you have older relatives – such as your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles – whom you can ask questions about their life and family heritage, you may be surprised at what you hear (if they’re willing to tell!). Parts of family lore or fuzzy memories may need fact-checking. What you will find is that there’s not just one story, one straight line. Stories of relatives intertwine. The backstory may shed light on why a family made key decisions. An anecdote about a certain individual may show their character, or provide clues to family history. You may have unique memories or knowledge to share from your life or previous generations.
Ancestor Stories
Ancestors were individuals, too! They were more than names and statistics.
They didn’t just have one role, such as grandmother, father or sibling. Their livelihood was more than a word, such as farmer, tailor, doctor. They may have struggled with poverty. Or perhaps they had the means to live comfortably in their day! In any case, you may be able to learn more about their life events, lifestyles and livelihoods – to paint a picture of how life was for them.
Some may have been well-known and their life well-documented. Perhaps your ancestor wrote a memoir. For others, you may know very little.
Even when you do family history research, you may lack individual stories. But depending on your ancestor and records kept, you might find some details of their life. From these details, you can glean the most ‘story’. It can take some detective work. But that can be fun! Then it’s a matter of building their story from the facts.
You may find an interesting episode in an ancestor’s life and write about that. Or focus on a theme in their life, such as resilience. Perhaps you’ll sum up their entire life story, even if briefly.
Mrs. Harold Sontag and daughters, Maple Park, Illinois 1942. / Photo by Ann Rosener via Library of Congress
Family Histories
Family history is usually the term for your background through the generations. I like to think of family histories.
Each person has a number of branches in their family tree (or ancestry or genealogy). Within each branch or lineage there are so many individuals and stories. Some families moved from one country to another. One family line may come from a different location and culture than the rest.
It would be too much, for you and your readers, to tell your entire family history. It’s best to choose a grouping of: certain generations, a geographic area, one surname, or such. You might like to focus on the women in your background. Each grouping could be one of several family histories that you prepare.
People share ancestors in common. Someone else may have written a family history about ‘your people’. Maybe they wrote it long ago when less information was available, and social norms were different than today. You might like to update this with verified records and a ‘modern’ point of view (such as about women’s rights or indigenous peoples).
Untold Stories
Some stories go untold. You – or a relative or friend – may have experienced something too personal or painful to share. Or maybe it’s too soon, or you only wish to write it in a diary or tell one trusted person.
Certain stories may be hushed and avoided in a family’s history. Perhaps they relate to the trauma of war, a child born outside of marriage, or racial injustice. These true tales may ‘go to the grave’ with those who knew.
Some stories are just lost. They may be lost along with a language that goes extinct. Historical records may be damaged in a fire or flood at an archive or church. Or, someone didn’t share the story while they could still remember. The info may be minor in the grand scheme of things, but some details are worth preserving if possible.
Other stories wait to be discovered, uncovered, recovered. Perhaps they’ve not been heard while the dominant culture repeats their version of how things went. Tales from another viewpoint would show more of the whole picture. Some minorities are finding their voice, tracing their ancestry, and are now able to share their stories. Are you part of such a group? Find your history, share your voice.
There is not just one story.
More of the Whole Story
Usually, we hear one side of a person’s life story. Certain parts are highlighted – usually the more flattering aspects and achievements. More aspects could round out the story of a human being with some flaws and struggles too.
Even ‘factual history’ contains bias. The winners of wars tend to write an account of battles. There are more records about men – who held roles, power, and the pen. In recent generations, women have gained more status to make decisions and tell their stories. Others, no matter their gender-identity, are finding their voice.
These days, more attention is being paid to the as-yet-untold aspects of life stories in history. For example, it’s been brought to light that some revered leaders from the past were also slave owners.
There’s not been a better time to try to balance the record by telling more of the whole story.
More Than Family
You might have stories about your life, your family members, and perhaps ancestors. But there are other ones to tell. You may have an adopted family in addition to your biological family. Or you may have a chosen family – i.e. circle of friends.
Family includes 'chosen' family and friends. / Photo by Ron Lach via Pexels
You may like to share the story or stories of others with central roles in your life, be they a partner, friend, teammate, mentor, or even a pet (animal companion).
The time may come for you to honour someone’s key achievements with a tribute, or celebrate their life with a memorial. Maybe you wish to write a letter or essay about how meaningful that person has been in your life.
Whenever you see the term family on this site, you may wish to include others who have been part of your life.
Whether or not you’re interested in your family history, you might be keen to learn and share about the history of a certain group of people.
This is another way in which life stories go beyond just one story, one narrative.
About twenty people who grew up together on the same street (decades ago!) had a Zoom session during the pandemic. It was delightful to share our childhood nicknames and stories. Each person remembered some things and had forgotten – or never knew about – other events.
Building Blocks
Individual stories, memories, and pieces of info can become building blocks for a bigger story.
You might like to compile individual pieces into a larger work about yourself, someone else, or your family history. For example, it could be a collection of short stories, poems, essays, images or profiles.
You could bring your memories, perceptions and reflections together to write a memoir.
Separate stories from a person’s life can be knit together to form a life story.
A Life Story
There is still room for a life story! You can’t tell all the stories in someone’s life, nor speak from other perspectives. But you can be one voice in telling a life story. It may include various stories to show aspects of a person’s life. You can do your best to sum up their life in a paragraph, a page, a brief biography or even an entire book.
You may wish to tell your own life story. Or you’d like to showcase a mentor by writing about their life. Perhaps you are called upon to deliver a eulogy at someone’s funeral. You may not have separate stories about an ancestor’s experiences, but can sum up their overall life story based on what you’ve learned.
written by Barbara L Campbell, 2024