Benefits of Preserving Memories of Someone
Each person has memories to share and likes to be heard. / Photo by Izzy Park via Unsplash
Help capture someone’s stories – and memories from people in their life –while you have the chance. Show appreciation and honour their legacy.
It’s rewarding to capture, preserve and share memories of someone: their stories, your memories, and what others remember most.
You may have the chance to connect with someone and the people in their life, to hear unique stories and perhaps learn about family history. If you give them a gift of their stories for a life milestone – such as their graduation, wedding, retirement, or significant birthday – they’ll likely treasure that keepsake.
“Memories are Perishable.”
If the person has passed away, it’s good to honour them and the life they led. It becomes part of their legacy when you preserve their stories, and memories of them. It can also help you and others celebrate their life and grieve your loss.
Capture Memories While You Can
We each have unique stories and experiences, yet our memories fade over time. We may forget details we thought we’d always remember, whether special moments or the names of people in our photos.
Your grandparents and other elders grew up in a different time, with the technology and traditions of their day. They may be the last ones to know about some of your ancestors. Their memories may fade away, or go with them to their grave.
When I helped my mother move into a dementia-care home, I was struck to meet her neighbour whose stories were ‘locked up inside’. In that moment, I pledged to capture my mother’s stories and help do that for others. In time, it led me to create this site. Read about some of my heartfelt experiences gathering and sharing someone’s stories.
It’s good to capture others’ memories while you have the chance! Perhaps you have relatives, friends, or others you’d like to interview about their experiences and perspective. It’s wonderful to hear stories from other people in that person’s life, as well.
It's great to capture and share memories now and for keeps. / Photo by Cottonbro Studio via Pexels
Many people regret not asking questions while they could. I’ve not heard anyone who regrets capturing stories, family history or other memories before they’re lost.
These are some of the many reasons to tell life stories.
Anytime, you can make notes of your memories of times shared with someone. Sooner is better than later, while you remember more details. This could come in handy for a story or tribute you prepare about someone later!
Connect with the Person
When you ask someone about stories from their life, you hear and note what they say – but it’s more than that. You connect with the person. They benefit when they share their memories, and it’s good for you to listen to their stories. You may develop a sense of trust and closeness, especially over more than one conversation or interview.
If your interviewee is someone significant in your life – such as your parent – your meetings take on even more meaning. The process lets you ask questions that seem out of place in everyday conversation. And the answers might surprise you!
Taking some key steps for life-story interviews will help make the process more comfortable and productive for you and your interviewee.
Show Appreciation
Sharing memories of times spent together with someone special in your life shows how much you appreciate them. You can tell them directly, in writing, and with photos.
Shared moments of connection and appreciation are golden. / Photo by Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels
It shows how much you value and take interest in somebody to interview them about their life. Their eyes brighten and their energy increases when they share their stories. Some topics are tender, so it’s good to take care if you ask.
If the person has passed away, you can still express your appreciation in a tribute to share with others.
See the Whole Individual
It’s common to see someone only in their role in your life, such as: your parent, grandparent, or teacher. You know them during a portion of their life. This is especially true when your memories are from childhood.
When you help capture their memories, your perspective grows. You hear about their lives outside of yours, such as: your parent before you were born, your grandparent during their career, your teacher outside their job. It’s interesting to hear stories of their hopes and experiences from younger years – beyond your view.
Help Them Remember
If someone in your life suffers from memory loss – or for anyone who may in future – a collection of written memories, stories and photos can help.
Photos of people in somebody’s life, familiar places, and favourite objects might prompt their memory. A simple family tree chart – with photos – helps show how relatives fit in to the picture.
They may smile to hear a playlist of their favourite music. A certain song may remind them of a special moment, such as dancing with their life partner. If you recount a favourite story they used to tell, it might help them remember that time in their life.
A memory book about that person – including their childhood, close family, friends, and any family pet – can be a helpful touchstone.
There are a number of apps and services to make it easier for you to capture and share someone’s memories.
Collaborate with Others
It’s heartwarming to collaborate with others – friends, family, co-workers, or teammates – to pay tribute to someone you ‘share’ in common. I find it rewarding to curate input from others into a life-stories project. It’s wonderful to see someone receive a group gift that celebrates times shared, shows how much people care, and maybe pokes fun at one of their personality traits!
Everyone loves a gift. Imagine receiving one tailor-made for and about you! / Photo via Unsplash
Introduce or Showcase Someone
A memory or tribute book about someone – or even a brief profile – is a great conversation-starter. Young relatives may take interest in their elders and ask more questions. Caregivers and volunteers at a seniors’ residence can see the person in their whole life, not just their current state. People may discover a common interest or background that doesn’t come up in daily conversation.
A magazine I made from interviews with my uncle led him to reconnect with work-mates and classmates from years ago. It helped introduce him to residents and staff at his new elder-care residence, as someone who led a full and interesting life.
There are many ways to showcase someone, so you can choose what suits you, them, other contributors, and recipients such as family members.
If the person has passed away, it’s rewarding to honour their memory by sharing their life and personality with others.
Help to Grieve
When someone you care about dies, you and loved ones feel their loss in your lives so deeply. Sharing memories and stories about them can help you grieve.
In many cultures, people share stories and memories at a memorial service. Slideshows of photos showing the person at various ages and stages remind people of times they shared, and give a glimpse into other parts of their life. A video of the service helps preserve the words spoken in a eulogy and other tributes.
A story or collection of memories about your loved one can help you, close friends and family to grieve. It reminds you of that person’s qualities, and cherished times together. If you prepare a keepsake book (or other form of life stories), it can be a wonderful touchstone over the years.
Even better if you were able to interview the person while they were with you, and help them write or record their stories.
Not everyone wishes to see a video of someone after they pass, but it’s touching to hear their voice, and can be a comfort to read memories they shared in writing.
Honour Them ‘Forever’
It honours someone who has gone before, to recognize their life in a tangible way.
In many cultures in recent centuries, the main way has been a gravestone – with the person’s basic info (name, birth and death dates, key relationships) and perhaps a quote that fits their viewpoint in life. A physical guestbook from an in-person memorial service becomes a family keepsake.
It's healing to preserve someone's memory and legacy in a tangible way. / Photo via Pexels
An obituary describes their life in a nutshell. Print and digitized newspaper archives aim to preserve these write-ups over time.
These days, it’s easier to share the life story of your significant-someone more widely. You can prepare an online memorial page – with stories and photos – to be shown ‘in perpetuity’ if you choose. Various online legacy platforms make this possible. When their friends submit guestbook entries online, the person’s family and community can see other lives they touched.
If you prepare and self-publish a tribute or brief biography about the person, it is something their close friends and loved ones are likely to keep – no matter how much they ‘downsize’ their belongings.
Preserve Family History
Older relatives may have met ancestors who you only see as names on a page or people in a photo. They might retain stories passed down from earlier generations. If you have the chance, try to capture these elements of family history.
Whether your elder’s memory is sharp or hazy – and whether the info is family lore or fact – their stories can provide clues. You can test and trace these clues by doing more research into your family history.
Other relatives – including distant ones – may hold keys to your family history. If you find and reach them, ask questions, and record what they relate, you may collect some real ‘genealogy gems’.
What you learn may benefit others who share common ancestors, including people in future generations who take an interest in their family history.
It pays to ask your relatives questions, plus note your own family history knowledge. / Pixabay photo via Unsplash
You and your relatives are living your family history right now. It’s great to capture stories of – and from – your current family members. Along with your stories and ancestor stories, these become part of your family history collection!
written by Barbara L Campbell, 2024